Itās time to reveal the other side.
Startups.
The moment this word hits peopleās ears, they automatically thinkāāāflexible work schedule, a tight-knit team, a unified work culture, unlimited opportunities for learning, the ability to grow a groundbreaking product from a raw idea and so on…
Sounds like an enticing business to work for, doesnāt it?
Well, it totally sold meāāāafter 3 1/2 years of sucking up to bosses, Iād finally quit my 9ā5 job to join Rabbut. But to tell you the truth, it wasnāt just those fancy perks that steered me towards this career decision. The real deal-breaker for me was working for a company where I had the opportunity to change peopleās futures through the sweat of my hard work. Where I could actually see my imprint. Where I could bring my ideas and stories to those who want to be someone more.
And I have.
But the more I hustled and the longer I stayed with Rabbut, the more distressed I became. No, itās not the burnouts (if youāre guessing that) but rather, itās the loneliness.

Image credit to Jae Johns. Instagram: @jaejohns.
If you talk to a startup founder or someone who works for one, youāll quickly realize how different their mentality is compared to the norm.
- Instead of working hard to get rich, they use growth hacks to speed up their business success.
- Instead of hiring people based off their resume, they hire people based on potential and heart.
- Instead of getting frustrated at life for causing problems, they reflect back and figure out what they could do to fix them.
What youāre seeing is a whole new breed of people who utilize every muscle in their brain to win the marathon. And itās a tough battle. Because to be in the 10% of the successors, they need to be quick to jump in with bright ideas, be well-aware of every aspect of a business and make risky (but wise) decisions. But one thing they always do is hustle. Every minute, every hour. If they stop, they fall behindāāāsignificantly.
Thatās why I always work.
Because when I do, I am one step closer to making big money at my startup. Or gain useful work skills if the best case scenario doesnāt happen.
Eventually though, the startup lifestyle starts getting bland. While everyone else is out partying or traveling to exotic places, Iām in front of my screen, blogging. Exposing my business by the thousands. And the more time I invest into work, the less invites I get from people I care about and the more fragile my new relationships are.
At the end of the day, my mind gets sharper, but my social life deteriorates.
To be honest, Iām not too surprised to be someoneās second option or ālast resortā when it comes to hanging out. Because unlike most people who schedule a solid plan days or weeks before the actual meetup, I schedule it the night before (or sometimes the day of).
I just canāt help it when my schedule looks like this everyday:
- Work at the officeāāā14 hours
- Sleepāāā6 hours
- Work out at the gymāāā1 hour
- Family timeāāā30 minutes
- Self-reflection of my dayāāā1 hour
- Shower, text friends, enjoy my āmeā timeāāā1.5 hours
Given what I can squeeze in, 1ā1.5 hours isnāt long enough to spark the next hangout.
But even if I did give all the time in the world to talk to family and friends, the conversations would be short. Either they didnāt know what to say when Iād talk about my startup, or my mind would wander elsewhere, seeking new excitement. Itās at that point where I no longer felt a real connection.
The saddest realization behind working at a startup is losing the connection youād once felt with others due to the work culture youāve grown accustomed to.
Itād never occurred to me how lonely Iād feel at my startup until depression kept hitting me every week, for the past few months. I wanted so badly to talk to someone whoād understand things on my level (disregarding my teammates), which is why I forced myself to join Meetups, hit up new coffeeshops and invite myself to friendsā house parties.
But no matter where I turned to, the results were always the sameāāāa conversation that didnāt click. A conversation where youād act interested, but in reality youād wish you were at home doing your own thing.
This is a problem many startup entrepreneurs face yet remain silent about. Itās not because we donāt want to reveal our weak side; weāre just too busy to think about it. It only hits when weāre finally alone and left to reflect on our lives.
Itās time to step out
I am now working remotely in South Asia to explore new cultures and interact with new and like-minded people who can (hopefully) understand my way of thinking. Completely.
Why South Asia in particular?
For one, there are beautiful and upscale cafes/coffee shops with fast wi-fi on every corner. Perfect for the traveling nomad. Two, itās ridiculously cheap. Renting a nice Airbnb room for one month ranges from $300ā500 USD. Meals cost about $2ā3 USD with drinks going for $1 USD or less. Compared to the living costs in Silicon Valley, you can live like a king/queen. Lastly, South Asia is bustling with life. At every waking moment of the day and night, youāll come across people who are crowding the night markets, dining out at cafes, walking down the streets while chatting with friends or rushing to get to work.
Iām still getting used to peopleās way of life here. But hopefully at the end of this trip, Iād be able to build new connections and boost my work productivity (and maybe get my creative juices flowing for writing, too).
This article was originally published on TiffanySun Blog at Medium.com